Never ever thought that I will feel this way. Always wanted to move out of this house. Always only thinking about myself. I thought I will be elated to move out of this house. Ive been waiting for this very moment for 10 years. And I was really elated. Until, I told her about this news, which is horrifying to her.
I was sitting on the sofa, in the living room with her, as usual, watching tv with her, chatting, and enjoying each other's companion. When I thought, that was the best time to tell her about this.
Thought I'll be able to tell her this news happily.. But no. I burst into tears. I cried when I spoke my first sentence. Just the first sentence.
She couldn't hear. She was trying very hard to figure out every word I said. And during this process, she was looking at my face, and from her expression, I know, I know that she's afraid, I know that she's afraid that I'm going to tell her something horrifying.
When she finally made out what I was saying, the expression on her face, I will never forget. I know shes depressed just from her expression. But when she said out, " do you know that ah ma is really sad when I hear this?"...
Had been making her worry, sad, cry, all the shits, since I was 13. Now that I've came out to the society to work, she must have been feeling really relieved and happy. But, once again.. Never fail to do things to upset her. I want to say sorry. I want to say sorry so much. But how?
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